Family ties?

Dear anonymous,

I have no realized just how ridiculous and annoying my sister can be. The fact that it is now 12:30am and there is fresh salmon being baked in the oven that won't be done for another 10 minutes makes me so peeved, I cannot even begin to explain. Especially since the salmon then has to cool before I can put it in the fridge, guaranteeing I will not be asleep until 1:30am. Then tomorrow morning she will force me to be awake to be at school for 9am. I mean, these are just the little things. There are such big issues I can't even comprehend and it is driving me up the wall. I can never live with her again. There is a good chance that it will completely ruin the very strained relationship we already have. It is better for us to stay apart.

/rant

Love,
Michelle

Is this my fault?

Dear anonymous,

A couple months ago I decided to block Ethan on my twitter and instagram because I didn't want him commenting on my life. It wasn't a decision to make sure he knew nothing about me because all my social media is open to everyone in the world but, it was a decision to not let him be a part of it. A few weeks ago he texted me asking if I had blocked him and I told him no because I didn't feel like I owed him any explanations. Not to mention the reasons I blocked him are my own and if he knew them things could get really strange and awkward between me and his girlfriend April who I am good friends with. I ended up telling him there must be a fluke with my social media.

Tonight, he texted me again saying that he knows I blocked him and that he is going to keep my One Tree Hill DVDs (I lent him my season 2 and 3 while I was living with his girlfriend) for life. Obviously this upset me. I responded nonchalantly and he retaliated sarcastically. Me, already having a bad day, decided to lash out on him (very minorly) and got a "cool story bro" back.

So now I am stuck without my DVDs and the threat of never getting them back because I blocked him off my social media. And I understand if he is hurt or upset or angry about me blocking him because we were quite close for about a year but as soon as he started dating April, he dropped off the face of the earth and disregarded me completely as a friend. The only reason we ever spoke was because he was always at my house with April. And my friends have told me that he is being childish and that even if I did block him, it shouldn't matter because those DVDs are my property. Yet it still feels like I have done something wrong.

To be honest, I want him out of my life as much as possible. If he didn't have my DVDs, I would have blocked his number from my phone, too. If I can avoid him as much as possible, I want to. Which I know becomes difficult because I am so close with April but, "as much as possible" is better than "not at all". So now I am stuck. I don't owe him any explanations, I don't want to tell him but I want my stuff back.

What do I do now?

Love,
Michelle

How am I going to deal with this all year?

Dear anonymous,

I'm getting real tired of my sister yelling at me when she gets in one of her moods. Yes, I sit at home and don't really study all that much but, that's just me. I'm lazy and I like it. When I have a day off from class, I like to take the time to catch up on tv shows and watch bad films and eat to my heart's content. So I haven't gotten us on the waiting list for parking yet - our property manager is a dick and won't send me a letter to say we don't get a parking spot on site. So I haven't gotten the fabric tailored yet for the pillows - I don't know where to go in Toronto and Toronto sort of scares me. So I accidentally thought we spent $50 and would get free shipping but it turns out we only spent $44 and had to pay $10 for shipping - my mistake. Guess what? I make mistakes. I don't do things. I'm lazy and I am shit. Deal with it. Stop fucking yelling at me. I know it's all my fault.

Love,
Michelle

Cards against humanity?

Dear anonymous,

Tonight I played the game called Cards Against Humanity. If you don't already know what this is (it seems to be the newest trend in North America), the object of the game is to obtain the most black cards. Each black card has a saying or phrase or question to complete or answer. These are answered using white cards with witty words, sentences, people, comebacks, what have you. Each person takes a turn in reading the black card out loud and every other player not dealing the black card chooses an appropriate answer based on the 10 white cards in their hand. The white cards are placed face down and the black card dealer then chooses their favourite answer and thus, the winner of the round receives the black card. (Tetchy explanation, sorry!)

As it goes, many of the answers end up being what I call "-ist" in some way or another. "-Ist" meaning racist, sexist, egoist, and all sorts of other "-ists". This game made me realise something tonight: I really don't like people.

People make me frustrated. They make me angry. They upset me. They are terrible. People have no regard for others. People have turned insults into a game. They don't understand compassion. They don't notice when somebody stops having a good time at a party. People are self-centered. They are conceited. They are rude. As a general rule: people suck.

So there you have it. Sorry people but, I pretty much hate you all.

Love,
Michelle
(I do realise how ironic that sign-off is. Cheers if you noticed)