Dear anonymous,
If I could be skinny for a day again, that would be ace. I've had a really exponentially terrible body day today. Tomorrow I'm supposed to go to the beach and as much as I want to get a tan, I might just feign sickness. It makes me cringe to think about showing this body to the beach world. People are going to judge me for my love handles and my cookie pouch belly and my scars. We'll just see, I guess. Maybe tomorrow I'll like my body.
Love,
Michelle
Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label summer. Show all posts
Sunday, 14 July 2013
Thursday, 25 April 2013
Are we really friends?
Dear anonymous,
Ethan keeps bringing up a slight mishap from the end of last summer. We had gotten really close so naturally when summer was ending, I implied that I would never see him again. I had many reasons to believe this, the main one being that he had constantly told me he would not be visiting me in my new house. As it turns out, I was wrong and he continuously brings it up.
Tonight at Anita's goodbye get together, he brought it up once again. In a different context this time, referring to my move on May 1st to downtown Toronto. As usual, Ethan said that we would still be friends despite the fact that I was moving. I replied by saying sure and he countered by saying that I said the same thing last summer but we are still friends and see each other.
Can we really call each other friends though? As of this year, we have had approximately one real conversation. Any other real conversations have happened with April present. Not that this is a problem because she is wonderful and beautiful and I would tell her my life story if we ever had a minute to see each other but, it's not a friendship between me and him anymore.
To me, Ethan stopped being my friend when he asked me if I was still self-harming then proceeded to tell me that I no longer had to tell him because he wasn't obligated to care (as my don, he technically was). It's not even that it made me angry but it made me realise for the thousandth time in my life that people only care when they have to and that nothing is forever. I expected our friendship to stay strong and that he would be someone I wanted to tell things to for years and years yet in the span of 2 sentences, all that went down the drain.
If I can't tell him about anything in my life from the most minute detail like getting a haircut to the deepest secret I covet, we are not friends.
So sorry, Ethan, if you ever read this but we are not friends. So you can stop saying that we are going to stay friends after I move because that ship has sailed. At least for me.
Love,
Michelle
Ethan keeps bringing up a slight mishap from the end of last summer. We had gotten really close so naturally when summer was ending, I implied that I would never see him again. I had many reasons to believe this, the main one being that he had constantly told me he would not be visiting me in my new house. As it turns out, I was wrong and he continuously brings it up.
Tonight at Anita's goodbye get together, he brought it up once again. In a different context this time, referring to my move on May 1st to downtown Toronto. As usual, Ethan said that we would still be friends despite the fact that I was moving. I replied by saying sure and he countered by saying that I said the same thing last summer but we are still friends and see each other.
Can we really call each other friends though? As of this year, we have had approximately one real conversation. Any other real conversations have happened with April present. Not that this is a problem because she is wonderful and beautiful and I would tell her my life story if we ever had a minute to see each other but, it's not a friendship between me and him anymore.
To me, Ethan stopped being my friend when he asked me if I was still self-harming then proceeded to tell me that I no longer had to tell him because he wasn't obligated to care (as my don, he technically was). It's not even that it made me angry but it made me realise for the thousandth time in my life that people only care when they have to and that nothing is forever. I expected our friendship to stay strong and that he would be someone I wanted to tell things to for years and years yet in the span of 2 sentences, all that went down the drain.
If I can't tell him about anything in my life from the most minute detail like getting a haircut to the deepest secret I covet, we are not friends.
So sorry, Ethan, if you ever read this but we are not friends. So you can stop saying that we are going to stay friends after I move because that ship has sailed. At least for me.
Love,
Michelle
Moving on to the next chapter?
Dear anonymous,
I'm done third year! Had my last final this morning and rewarded myself by buying a pair of beautiful white high top chucks.
Anybody else done finals?
Love,
Michelle
I'm done third year! Had my last final this morning and rewarded myself by buying a pair of beautiful white high top chucks.
Anybody else done finals?
Love,
Michelle
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