Will it ever be the same?

Dear anonymous,

Two years ago I wrote this letter on another blog to someone that I missed. I didn't mention his name there but I will here: Noah Parker. Yes, he is Josh's little brother. Yes, he is three years younger than me. Yes, he now has a girlfriend. Yes, he has grown up. No, we don't still talk. I just know these things because I'm a huge creep that still keeps tabs on his life. All their lives really (there are four of them). You'll find the letter here if you want to read it.

The funny thing is that even two years later, I still feel the same. I wrote that letter because I missed him. Well I still do.

Love,
Michelle

Letter I'll Never Send?

Dear Noah, Jake and Ollie,

I'm sorry that we stopped talking. That I pushed you all away. That when things fell apart with Josh and I, I thought it meant things also had to fall apart for us. 

You were always like brothers to me. We had our own friendships and bonds. It wasn't fair of me to make you part of my problem with Josh. 

If our relationship was as strong as I thought it was, I know how you must have felt the last time I told you I couldn't associate with you anymore. I felt it, too. The rejection, the hurt, the feeling of not being worth it, of not being good enough. It sucks. Whether or not you felt that, I am still sorry. 

I sincerely hope that one day we can be that close again. That one day we will meet and forget the past and move forward. If that happens, I will welcome the situation with open arms. If not, know that I will always miss you and that I deeply regret letting my problems get in the way of our friendship. 

I will never forget you as the sweetest, quirkiest, kindest, funniest brothers I will ever have the privilege to be friends with. Thank you for letting me be a part of your lives. 

Much love,

Michelle