Is it even really a big deal?

Dear anonymous,

I used to think that losing your virginity was a big deal. As a girl, that's what we learn anyway. Our mothers tell us that boys who want to sleep with you aren't worth it. That you are worth more than letting a boy take what is most precious to you.

Precious. How many times have I heard my virginity being referred to as precious? The thing is, it's precious because we have labelled it so. There is nothing inherently special about my virginity. It is just a symbol of purity and innocence. At least it used to be.

Purity. Innocence. At the age of 21, both are gone. Purity is tainted with whiffs of smoke, dabbling in drugs and shots, shots, shots. Innocence is tainted by life. Everything from the first year you realised Santa's writing was the same as Mom's to someone grinding behind you at the school dance. There is nothing about me that is pure and innocent, still. Just because I still have my virginity does not mean I hold those virtues.

Virginity is my choice, don't get me wrong. It isn't something special to me anymore though. It just is. Like smoking leading to cancer. Like not drinking water causing dehydration. Like H20 being the formula for water. Like the earth being round. It is a fact. I am a virgin. That doesn't make it special.

Love,
Michelle Teo

Easier being a boy?

Dear anonymous,

I ask myself this question on a daily basis. Would life be easier if I were a boy? Whether or not this is possible, I honestly think about it all the time.

Being a boy would mean I could sleep around and be praised for it. It would mean not having to worry about make up. Boys might have less clothing choices but doesn't that just makes their lives easier? And cheaper? Then there's the fact that they don't have periods. Or pregnancy scares. Or hell, pregnancy. They don't have to push 6-12 pounds of human out of their bodies after housing them for 9 months. If I were a boy I could skateboard. I could play video games all day and be good at it (I truly believe they have an inherent ability to play video games better). Being a boy would mean less drama, less cat fights, less body image issues.

Keep in mind, I know that being a boy isn't always easy. I get that there are the ones that have body image issues, the ones that are gay and get terrorized at school, the ones that are nerdy and awkward, the ones that are genuinely nice guys always put in the friend zone. I still think it would be easier to be a boy.

Love,
Michelle