Dear anonymous,
At church this morning, Mrs. Kanerva reminded me that the Parker boys had all graduated and that Noah was valedictorian. This in turn made me realise that I wanted to acknowledge how proud of them I am - even if we don't speak anymore. So I went to the mall, bought a graduation card and wrote a little message for each of the three boys. Then I went to their house.
Let me tell you anonymous, my heart has never beat so fast. I felt like it was caving in on me. I couldn't get enough air in my lungs to breathe. As I walked up to their front door, I could feel the butterflies in my stomach and the air disappearing. Then Noah opened the door and I swear my heart stopped for a minute. He looked... grown up. I had seen him in photos so I knew what to expect (yes, I Facebook creeped back when I had Facebook) yet it was still the first time I had seen him in years.
What a surreal moment. Knowing that so much can change in three years. I've missed watching them struggle through the awkwardness of high school. I've missed their first loves. I've missed their big decisions like sex and college or university. I've missed it all.
Have you ever felt like that? Like you could see every little thing you missed right in front of your face in two seconds?
Love,
Michelle
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Sunday, 30 June 2013
Saturday, 25 May 2013
Sex?
Dear anonymous,
Sex is a funny thing. For instance, I am a virgin. Sometimes I am incredibly proud to tell anybody who asks that I have held back and am waiting for the right guy. Other times I am embarrassed that I have not yet had sex. After all, I am 21 years old. Kids these days are having sex at 11.
In certain situations, it depends on the person. If I know somebody accepts me for who I truly am, understands my values and my thoughts and most importantly my faith, then I feel okay saying I am still a virgin. On the other hand, if somebody constantly talks about how strange it is to be a virgin and proceeds to ask me, I will lie.
I'm not proud to say that I have lied to people about it. I should be proud of myself for sticking to my guns and not giving in. There have been opportunities where I could have said yes but said no. I like to think it is because I still have some integrity. Yet I lie.
It's a funny thing how something so little can mean so much.
Love,
Michelle
Sex is a funny thing. For instance, I am a virgin. Sometimes I am incredibly proud to tell anybody who asks that I have held back and am waiting for the right guy. Other times I am embarrassed that I have not yet had sex. After all, I am 21 years old. Kids these days are having sex at 11.
In certain situations, it depends on the person. If I know somebody accepts me for who I truly am, understands my values and my thoughts and most importantly my faith, then I feel okay saying I am still a virgin. On the other hand, if somebody constantly talks about how strange it is to be a virgin and proceeds to ask me, I will lie.
I'm not proud to say that I have lied to people about it. I should be proud of myself for sticking to my guns and not giving in. There have been opportunities where I could have said yes but said no. I like to think it is because I still have some integrity. Yet I lie.
It's a funny thing how something so little can mean so much.
Love,
Michelle
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